I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
