I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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