You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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