Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
