apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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