You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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