i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
