try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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