i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
