Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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