All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
