we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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