Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I still have a little drunk in my system
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
