PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
