I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize