Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
