1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
