I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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