As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
