Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
