I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
