i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
