You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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