I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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