i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Vodka?
Forever.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
