Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
