I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
