my mouth tastes like poor choices
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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