remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
