i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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