I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
