Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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