Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
