i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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