Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
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I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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