'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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