Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
