Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
