The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
