I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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