so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
