:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize