I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
