okay pat passed out under dana's car
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Panties = found
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
