nut hugger
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
