and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
