We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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