Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
