As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
