Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
