what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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